Kindle Flickering
What do you think of the poem i wrote?
I already posted this, but i didn’t get as much feedback as i would have liked. any comments or constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks!
What do you see
when you glance
in my direction?
Do you see
desperation?
Longing?
Or the slightest flicker
of
hope?
When you peer in my
direction
do you see my face?
Or do you simply turn
away
pretending you didn’t
see me
because that is so
much more easily
done?
Do you ever think
maybe
it could change from
two isolated pieces
to one whole
like a puzzle
perfectly assembled?
Do you realize
we are two
kindled spirits
just waiting for that
moment to be brought together
forever?
Do you just once stop
to think
maybe
we could be
as one?
~Do you think i need to work on the flow of the words? Do you think it reflects enough emotion? Thanks!
i think the flow could be inproved but a poem is a poem and who am i to criticize your work
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (by The Platters)
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