Kindle Kids Corner

A Death In The Family And The Impact On The Holiday Season

Death can be a very difficult aspect of life to deal with in the first place. When a death occurs during the holiday season there can be a profound sense of loss that is well outlined by the obvious hole left in the family. When it comes to handling holiday deaths you have to just look inside and follow the belief system that you are most comfortable with.

When the loss is in the home, everything can feel wrong. You want to take down the decorations. You want to protect the kids from the news but you don’t want to celebrate. You notice that everything is somber, even the dog lays mournfully on the foam dog bed and looks on with sorrow. It can be overwhelming and you might feel a need to bring joy into the house.

At no time do you have to pressure yourself into making the right decision. There isn’t one. Stocking stuffers like new baby bath toys and those neat little race cars can be hard reminders or a source of joy. The path is not one that comes with a good map.

Some people indicate that the decision can be made based on who it was that passed away. Not every family agrees with this and there can often be great arguments that crop up. The entire family needs to be able to come together and discuss the possible solutions and try to agree on the next right step in the process. There are often young children to think of, and young children do not always equate death with sadness because they do not completely understand.

Older children might feel that holding the holiday might be disrespectful. They often have a strong sense of duty to the morally right, even if they tend to take it too far, as older children are defining their belief system. When you have both older children and younger children in the home, you may not be able to get a consensus.

When there are not children in the home, the decision doesn’t necessarily get easier. Adult siblings and those who are party to the holiday often don’t agree on a single idea. The biggest point to keep in mind that even when emotions are high, the bickering that can ensue is not helpful for anyone.

While most people dance around it, there is also the question of the gifts. There are presents that the deceased may have purchased and wrapped. There are also the gifts that you have purchased. Do you hold onto the sweater, the latest kindle, or the newest laptop or do you try to return it? Do you give it to someone else? There is no right answer to these difficult questions. Only your heart, your family, and your gut can really guide you along the way.

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